Donald Trump Goes on Bizarre Innuendo-Filled Rant About Balls

If you think Donald Trump’s rants this week – on a variety of topics ranging from “Horseface” Stormy Daniels to

Donald Trump lawsuit

If you think Donald Trump’s rants this week – on a variety of topics ranging from “Horseface” Stormy Daniels to Ron “Desanctimonious” DeSantis – were odd, they’ve got nothing on one of his most recent.

Reacting to reports that the US Golf Association (USGA) is considering modifying golf balls used in their tournaments and limiting distance, Trump went on an innuendo-filled and bizarre rant.

But the weirdest part of Trump’s ball obsession is that the changes wouldn’t even affect him – it’s just for pro golfers, not amateurs.

Nonetheless, he had plenty to say about it late Wednesday.


The USGA is Making People Mad Over Balls?


The furor about balls is heating up.

Yahoo! Sports reports, “On Tuesday, two of golf’s governing bodies announced a plan that would force golfers to use a modified ball designed to limit distance. The proposal, which would start in 2026 if it is adopted, would reduce driver distance by about 15 yards. Only the top golfers, not amateur golfers, would be impacted.

The golf balls, per ESPN, would have to conform to not exceed the overall distance of 320 yards on carry and roll.

This season, Tour players are averaging just more than 297 yards on drives. Both the USGA and R&A said distances have been increasing by about 1 yard per year, and that this chance would help keep the game sustainable over the decades to come.

‘If we simply do nothing, we pass that to the next generation and to all the golf course venues around the world for them to just simply figure out,’ USGA CEO Mike Wahn said, via ESPN.”

The change would only apply to two tournaments a year – the U.S. Open and the British Open.

Multiple golf celebs have spoken out against the plans to regulate, calling it unnecessary.

But Trump didn’t just stop at “unnecessary” – he had whole thoughts about it.

Donald Trump Takes On …Balls?

Donald Trump balls

Trump, who is a notoriously middling golfer (but who often shows up to tournaments at his golf properties and somehow does really well), tore into the USGA on Wednesday.

He wrote on Truth Social, “Here we go again with the USGA wanting to cut the distance out of a golf ball! Remember, you still have to chip, putt, and do everything else. They really have bigger problems, like LIV.”

Then he threw in an innuendo, writing, “People want to feel and watch the long ball.”

And a baseball reference (although it’s also used in golf), “Also, they want to see the great players hit home runs, not singles and doubles. Length is important for Entertainment Value.”

Trump blasted, “LEAVE THE GOLF BALL ALONE. Balls will be mixed for years to come.”

And he concluded, “What a mess. Also, allow long putters, and ball drops from past heights!”

Will it matter to Trump? No.

Does it matter to his followers? Probably not. The Ultra-MAGA crowd is more “big trucks” and “hunting” than “golf,” but there is some small overlap.

However, Trump is desperate at this point for anything that distracts from the impending legal jeopardy jaws clamping shut around him from every direction.

And if making crude jokes about balls while lambasting the USGA can get people to look the other direction, he’ll do it.

But the ball is in the courts of the Department of Justice and Manhattan and Fulton County DAs now, despite his best efforts.