How to Jetset in a Pandemic

For as long as I can remember, Europe is for summering and winter holidays are spent in St. Barths. Or

For as long as I can remember, Europe is for summering and winter holidays are spent in St. Barths. Or on Safari. Perhaps the occasional ski holiday in Gstaad or Courchevel, if you’re into that kind of thing.

With the ‘Rona overtaking the Chavs* as the worst thing to ever wash up on the Med, jetting off to summer holiday destinations is going to take some creativity for the foreseeable future.

So, here’s the deal. Ibiza is off the list this year. Our beloved Espana and its Catalan counterparts were among the first and hardest-hit areas of Europe with the Coronavirus pandemic. This means everything from tripping balls at Parc Güell to dancing on tables at Blue Marlin is simply not in the cards this year. Which is fine since Ibiza was due for a time out anyway.  It was.

Contrary to what you might have heard about the debaucherous party destination, Ibiza is actually one of the most beautiful and spiritual places on the planet. You see, in the 60s and 70s, it was a bohemian paradise….an island hideout favored by artists, musicians, celebrities, and their uber-wealthy muses. It was a place where entirely new forms of expression were realized, including a new genre of soul-shaking sound known today as the Balearic beat. You didn’t actually think music came from computers….did you? If you did, I heard that Ibiza is closed sin qua non.

Maybe try Magaluf perhaps?

My point is, all the clubs that destroyed the bohemian spirit of the island will be closed this year. For those in the know, stewards of the island have been fighting a long time to try to limit the bacteria-like spread of craptastic tourist compounds like Ushuaïa and it’s deafening thump of mainstream sound pollution and equally detrimental environmental waste that was slowly but surely sucking all of the unique character from I-bifa.

Don’t get me wrong, we were there when it opened and part of the scene ushering in the flashy and fabulous height of Ibiza. We were among a select group of globally-inclined Americans who made an annual patronage to the island. Back then, it really was about the music, man. The music, as it was, was completely undiscovered beats and names that would maybe make it to your cool DJ friend’s Beatport a year later, and never, ever see the light of day in what you would consider an American nightclub. So that’s why we went, Ibiza was the place of you wanted to sun and recharge your soul.

It didn’t take long until word spread and partnerships with sophisticated UK travel marketing firms were inked, lest we not forget those now-iconic Easy Jet flights where there was almost certainty of a fistfight somewhere between Bristol and Sitges.

By the way, remind me to tell you the story of the time we flew from Manchester to Las Vegas. Coach.

Anyway, with this season’s downtime perhaps they will find ways to reconfigure to operate more congruently with the intended vibe of the island, or maybe they will go away. Ibiza is a really special place that was due for a serious reset.

If you find yourself soul-searching and go this year (which you absolutely should) prepare yourself for a completely different kind of Ibizan experience. The experience you were meant to have.

Try Es Vedra. Or Deseo. Or a luxury Ashram experience. Or splash out for an epically eco-friendly villa and hunker down with 10 or so of your closest and chicest friends. Connect with the island. Hike. Eat good food. Embrace the magic and the energy that’s waiting there for you to see. And maybe, just maybe….the music will find you if it’s meant to be.

After all, anyone who’s anyone knows the best parties in Ibiza have always been during the day and the best DJs never play in public.

Happy jet setting.


*Imagine the cast of the Jersey Shore with British accents, but like….angrier. That’s Chavs.