How to Tell the Difference Between Your Valentine and a Fish

It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. While some people still stick to more traditional ways of celebrating

Feb 14, 2023
Valentine Date Fish

It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air.

While some people still stick to more traditional ways of celebrating Valentine’s Day, with chocolates and romantic dinners, others are turning the day into a celebration of friendship.

However you choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day, one thing is universal: you either love it, or you hate it.

There are few fence-sitters when it comes to the holiday of romance.

If you are one of those people who choose to celebrate the romantic side of Valentine’s Day, you may be getting ready for a hot date tonight.
But before you strap on your shoes and head out for an evening of fun and frolicking, you’ll want to be able to tell the difference between your Valentine date… and a fish.

See: BRITNEY SPEARS COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD: ‘I’M HERE, I’M ALIVE’

Washington State Dept of Natural Resources Has the Valentine/Fish Low-down for Everyone

Luckily for you, the Washington State Department of Natural Resources has devoted energy to solving this dilemma.

While everyone is professing their love and intentions on Twitter, with some promising to focus on self-care tonight, the Washington DNR decided to weigh in on a fishy situation that you don’t want to find yourself gill-to-gill with tonight.

On Monday, the WaDNR posted to Twitter this helpful guide:

“If he:

-Changes his entire look for you
-Travels 1,900 miles upstream to chase you
-Procreates and dies
-Replenishes an entire ecosystem with his carcass

He’s not your valentine, he’s a Chinook salmon.”

It sounds romantic and one could be forgiven for thinking that a person who is willing to walk (or swim) 1,900 miles and change his entire look for you is a romanceable partner.

But he’s not. He’s just a fish.

Comments on the post did not disappoint.

The American Conservation Coalition responded, “Thank you so much, we weren’t sure.”

And WSDNR clarified for them, “Just remember that if your situationship feels fishy, it’s probably a literal fish.”

One former journalist even chimed in with a picture of herself holding the devoted chinook salmon, with the caption, “They’re fighters for sure!”

WaDNR, always here for a good love story, responded, “You two look so happy together.”

And meteorologist Rob Bradley couldn’t help but quip, “So you’re telling me I got catfished by a salmon?”

While Fishing for a Joke, Don’t Ignore the Serious Side of Valentine’s Day

While it’s always good to have a laugh, and Twitter loves to deliver, there’s a more serious side of Valentine’s Day that most decidedly doesn’t involve a fish.

Research has shown that Valentine’s Day kicks off a rise in annual suicides which peaks around April.

The reasons behind the rise in suicides aren’t a mystery.

More than any time during the year except perhaps Christmas (when mental health crises also peak), Valentine’s Day shoves the idea of a nuclear family and romantic love down everyone’s throat.

The signs are everywhere. Roses, candies, and suggestions for how to spend time with “that special someone.”

But not everyone has “that special someone.”

In fact, in many places around the country this year, it’s harder than ever to be your authentic self – and therefore harder to exist out loud with love and romance.

The rise in mental health crises during the pandemic may be coming back down to a more typical level, but that doesn’t mean that people are leaving their trauma or long-term damage behind.

Now that “normal life” has returned, people are having to face a future that seemed uncertain just a few years ago.

Pressure to wed and start a “typical” life is a generational curse that has been passed down from parent to child for as long as society has looked the way it does today.

But Millennials and Gen Z are doing something extraordinary with that curse: they’re rejecting it entirely.

More than any generation before them, Millennials and especially Gen Z are throwing off society’s expectations of a traditional marriage and family that focuses on childbearing and rearing.

Now, with the pay to play for normal life becoming increasingly out of reach for young adults, they’re refusing to get caught up in a wheel they know is impossible to break – so they’re saying “not yet” or maybe “not ever.”

However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t pressure and depression arising from Valentine’s Day and the resulting red and pink overhaul of the world for 24 hours.

It just means that there’s hope that someday it won’t always be this bad for those who struggle.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or hopelessness, dial 988 to be connected to the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Share: 
Tags: